From the manliest man to the
womanliest woman, everyone loves to feel loved and desire, treasured and
cherished. But it’s not just the get in that feels so sweet: showering a lover
with affection can make for double pleasure and double the fun.
“It’s important to shows our love on a regular basis, because it let your mate know that he or she matters to you,” says Karen Sherman PHD, a New York city based Psychologist and relationship expert. In the beginning phase of a relationship we put our best foot forward, trying to make a good impression then we tend to get lazy. We become complacent and let life get in the way. So to make it a point to let the apple of your eye know that he or she is still you’re a- number-one top banana no matter if months, years or decades have passed since you first started seeing each other. "Do the things you did in the beginning," advises Sherman. "Appreciate each other, compliment each other, and let your partner know you're thinking about them. When you start to do those little things, your partner feels, 'Oh, I'm being noticed. I really do matter.'" Big splashy displays of affection can be fun, but in the end it's the little things that light us up and make us feel adored. There are so many other ways to express affection -- actions that require only creativity, not cash. Don't let money get between you and your honey: Try some of these free techniques -- and share the love!
1 Hug like you mean it. Hugs -- especially when given with true affection -- release the hormone oxytocin, which has been linked to sexual pleasure . Practice makes perfect!
2.
Reinvitet date night. Don't fall back on other people's ideas about what
constitutes a perfect date a. Plan your own version of quality time -- at
home. Popcorn and a Portlandia binge-viewing? Scrabble and hot cocoa in bed?
Love activated!
3. Write
a poem. Nothing screams "romantic" louder than an original poem --
and yes, you can write one. Poems are just a collection of words expressing
your thoughts and feelings. They don't have to rhyme.
4.
Stargaze. Lay on the grass (if warm). Bring a hot toddy (if cold). While
viewing the unfathomable universe, hold your loved one close and appreciate
just how lucky the two of you are.
5. Enjoy
some good old- fashioned sexercise. Not only does making love bring you closer
physically, spiritually and emotionally, it also burns some calories. (Not that
you need a reason.)
6. Make a call. "On your drive home, call them and say, 'I'll be home in 10 minutes. I can't wait to see you," advises Sherman. That extra line -- "I can't wait to see you" -- will give your message an extra dose of aww.
7. Bottle up your love. Create a homemade "message in a bottle" and leave it bobbing in the bathtub or sink for your lover to find. The message doesn't have to be a letter. Anything paper will work: tickets, photos, drawings...
8. Spoon. Cuddling not only builds intimacy, it's thought to release feel- good oxytocin, according to Rachel Salas, assistant medical director of the Johns Hopkins Center
9. Make eye contact. In the words of Audrey Nelson, Ph.D., it's the " strongest form of nonverbal communication ." So look into your partner's eyes and telegraph your love.
10. Whisper sweet nothings. Whispering requires you to lean in. See how close you can get...
11. Hold hands. This simple physical connection expresses affection while keeping the two of you well within "public display of affection" guidelines.
12. Mix it up. Ah, the mix tape. It's still one of the best ways to express your emotions via song. Burn your mix onto a disc or upload it to an online sharing site -- and make sure the title includes your loved one's name.
13. Write a love note. Spice things up with a heartfelt text that goes straight from your "sms heartphone" to your partner's. Or go old- school and tuck a sweet handwritten note into their coat pocket for a surprise discovery.
14. Three words: breakfast in bed. Always appreciated. And the bed's right there, so when you're done eating...
15. Learn your partner's "love language." Does he or she most feel loved when you say something sweet? Do something sweet? Give physical affection? Find out -- then start speaking the love language your partner understands .
16. Read aloud. Grab your partner's favourite novel or book of poetry and read a passage from it out loud (on the couch, in the bathtub, in bed...).
17. Ask your love to tell you a story from their past. Then listen -- really listen. "Active listening is the bridge to deeper intimacy and a more authentic connection in all of your relationships," notes up wave reviewer Terri Cole, Ph.D.
18. Tell your partner what you love about them. Don't just repeat the same old compliments; dig deep and tell your partner something you've always appreciated but never expressed.
19. Make a coupon book. An oldie but a goodie! There are endless ways to get creative with this one; be sure to use your insider info to hit all your partner's favourite things.
20. Give your partner a freebie. Check out Free cycle and Craigslist for all kinds of free things folks are giving away, and snag something you know your love would like. Score!
21. Tell your partner how they've changed your life. Share all the ways he or she has helped you overcome a problem, open your heart or see the world in a new light.
22. Get dorky. Ask your inner middle-school self what would have made you swoon back in the day. Then, do that. Draw a heart on the bathroom mirror with lipstick. Put on your squeeze's favourite romantic song and grab them for a slow dance in the living room.
23. Say yes. Is there a certain movie your partner wants to watch? A simple chore they'd like you do to? Let them have their way, just to make them happy.
24. Massage. Any time, any body part. Enough said, right?
25. Share a secret. Instead of unloading something heavy, though, build intimacy by sharing a dream or memory that reveals who you are on a deeper level.
26. Say thanks. Hearing "thank you" makes everyone feel special.
27. Give a slideshow. We snap photos of everything these days, but rarely look at those pictures twice. There are so many free slideshow makers online. Why not make a slideshow that celebrates your time together?
28. Use flattery. Apparently, it really does get you everywhere. A recent study found that, in general, participants felt more satisfied in partnerships where their significant other flattered them. So keep on whispering those sweet nothings. Who knows? It may turn in to something!
29. Smile. You know how good it feels to be smiled at by someone who's looking into your eyes? Exactly.
30. Serenade. If you can actually sing and/or play an instrument, great! If not, even better: Going out of your comfort zone to show your love might make an even bigger impact (and definitely will elicit more giggles).
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